February 2012
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Three important rules for breaking up. Don’t put off breaking up when you know you want to. Prolonging the situation only makes it worse. Tell him honestly, simply, kindly, but firmly. Don’t make a big production. Don’t make up an elaborate story. This will help you avoid a big tear jerking scene. If you wanna date other people say so. Be prepared for the boy to feel hurt and...
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Appropriate title for this list of stuff which I couldn’t really think of an appropriate title for(basically, things I wouldn’t mind having/doing/etc):
Road trips
Water balloon fights
Afternoon naps
Smell of pancakes in the morning
Midnight bonfires
Volkswagen vans
Drive-in movies
More journals and water-color sets
Popsicles, pretzels, soda and beer
Mountain walks
Sometimes I wish I could simultaneously live in several places at once. It probably doesn’t make much sense, but whenever I listen to country music, I feel like going out to a field and hearing Southern accents. When I eat pasta, I want to see vespas driving past my view. When it’s cold outside, I want to be walking down the streets of Berlin in October. I’m too exhausted for my...
2 tags
Etta James - I’d Rather Go Blind
“I often carry things to read so that I will not have to look at the people.”
– Charles Bukowski (via henrycharlesbukowski)
I can’t remember if I blogged about it already or not but I basically called Pizza Hut the other day to see if they would make me a heart-shaped pizza for Valentine’s day and they said no. Being one who doesn’t take no for an answer, I tried several other places to see if they would do it. I just got off the phone with Papa John’s and they said they do and I’m so...
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Say Anything - Sappy
I was just doing my morning painting and I ended up accidentally dipping my paintbrush in my coffee rather than the the cup of water. …
“But… what about us? What about the past?” she asks blankly. “The past isn’t real. It’s just a dream,” I say. “Don’t mention the past.”
I’ve been spending the majority of my morning/noon transferring everything from the journal that has been falling apart to a new, sturdier journal. I tried so hard to keep the other journal from falling apart, I practically duck taped every page together. I guess he just didn’t make the cut. RIP.
No-one here cares if you go or you stay. I barely even noticed that you were away. I’ll see you or I won’t. Whatever.
Every minute - every single second - there are a million things you could be thinking about. A million things you could be worrying about. I feel like our world is just becoming more fragmented. I used to think that when I got older, the world would make so much more sense. But you know what? The older I get, the more confusing it is to me. The more complicated it is. You’d think we’d be getting...
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Is it weird that I was thinking about how emotionally void lines must feel? Take parallel lines for instance. They’re two sets of lines that never meet. Imagine being next to someone your whole life who you ultimately never get to meet. What truly lonely lives lines must have.
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I can’t listen to this playlist anymore without thinking of you.
I’ve just been to the beach because I desperately needed to get out of my house to clear my head. It was weird because I was just lying down and looking at the water and I never really realized how flat the surface of the ocean is. I was lying on my back, so in a way it looked like the world was upside down, which personally I think looks better. It’s nice to have a change of...
Woke up this morning as I do on every morning and walked up to my mirror still half asleep to the shock of a giant hickey in the middle of my neck. Oh.
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No one will ever know anyone. We just have to deal with each other. You’re not ever gonna know me.
Today in my Theory of Knowledge class, we were talking about mental maps and how everybody’s idea of a certain thing is different. In trying to prove so, our teacher asked each of us to define the word ‘love’ in our notebooks which was surely followed by a few unwilling moans. He then asked each of us to call out what we had written. Now almost every person in the class had a...
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The other day, one of my friends started this trifling argument with me about how she thinks I have a problem with her friends or some bizarre theory that I didn’t really pay attention to. However in the end, when things were sort of resolved, I said to her “Du bist eine dummer verdammte Schlampe” and told her that it means ‘don’t let the bed bugs bite’ (as she...
January 2012
WHY WON’T YOU ACKNOWLEDGE ME?
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I wanna hear your band. I wanna give it advice. I wanna meet your girlfriend, she sounds nice. I wanna take you home. I wanna feel my age. I wanna freak you out on a different stage. I wanna show my teeth. I wanna keep you fed. I wanna get you drunk and let it go to your head. So I guess this means we can’t be friends.
I can’t tell if you’re using your delirious ways to just mess with my head, or if you’re genuinely this interesting and alluring.
If my parents decline my demand of buying a dog once we move back to CA, I will be so infuriated. They’re planning on buying one of those really big houses in the midst of the valley/forest area and those houses just cannot be without a dog. Especially since on my arrival I’m going to be utterly lonely because I’m so deficient in being socially likable so I’m going to need...
I’ve been so uninspired and drained of motivation lately that I can’t even make regular posts about myself like I used to. I’m not sure why I’m so exhausted lately, but I hope it’s temporary because I miss drawing and writing and everything else that I used to do.
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If I can’t learn to make myself feel better, how can I expect anyone else to give a shit?
Inadequate.
I’m going out somewhere tonight and hopefully I will make a good impression on these people and they will adopt me into their friendship group.
I’ve been having so much work and studying and problems to deal with this week and I really wish to pause it all for a while and just sleep or not exist or something.
I nearly had two emotional breakdowns in school today.
a) I think I know that school is getting to me when I almost emotionally break down in the middle of biology class because I can’t understand something. I don’t think it has ever taken me so much to understand a concept.
b) I found out I’ve been pronouncing the word ‘epitome’ wrong my whole life. I sat in my...
I’ve been trying to write a very frustrated paragraph for 30 minutes now. My parents have just informed me that we will be moving back to America after this school year due to us not having any more money to be able to stay here. My parents often ask me what’s wrong with me and why I’m acting so angrily towards them and why I never come out of my room. I’m just really...
Nirvana playing on max volume means stay out of my room because I don’t want to talk to or see anybody.
I often feel like my perspective on things is too neutral. It’s occurred to me on so many different occasions when I’ve either stood at a different angle looking at something, or just generally opened my eyes more and looked somewhere other than at my feet, that my surroundings often get blurred out. It’s like I don’t notice anything more. I want a more skewed perception of...
Hung out and met a new friend today! I think it went rather well. Obviously I’m the queen of first impressions and therefore managed to spill this guy’s coke on his white shirt. Maybe this is why I don’t go out…
I’m not actually that bothered about not having much friends anymore. I mean they’re not essential. Or maybe they are, but I’ve grown accustomed to being without them I guess. On another note though, things with the long-distance boyfriend aren’t going too well because I’m still holding a grudge about him lying about everything. He wants me to be more needy/clingy...